You've Got the Cinema Vol. 9

my June watches

I always try to keep these reviews short and sweet. A couple paragraphs max for each movie so you can get the gist, I can rave, and we can all move on with our days. Unfortunately, I had a lot of feelings about one of these entries and couldn’t stop myself from ranting. But please stick with me. I can’t help it there’s something about Chris Evan’s post Avengers movie career that fills me with rage.

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where was this chemistry in the movie????????

6. Materialists

   I know the discourse around this movie is passionate. You either love it or you hate it, no in between. Is it broke propaganda or an accurate depiction of what dating has become? Are people judging it too harshly or ripping it apart because it’s the cool thing to do? Probably the latter, to be honest. But I’m not like other girls (insert the Debbie Ryan gif here) so I hated it for another reason.. she should have ended up dumping both of them!

   Her entire thing is that she’s materialistic and doesn’t want to date a brokie. Why should she when she has a career she loves, a stunning wardrobe, and bangs that make you instantly want to schedule a hair appointment? She views dating as an equation which theoretically makes her great at her job. Enter the two men that are meant to challenge her.

   Chris is her 37-year-old (lmao okay sure) ex-boyfriend who she broke up with over you guessed it, being poor. At the time he is a struggling actor, living with multiple roommates in a rundown apartment, and can’t afford to pay $25 for parking on their anniversary. Which is fine, we need a catalyst for why they don’t work out initially. My problem is he comes back around and literally nothing about him has changed.

   Pedro, on the other hand, whisks in all charming and rich. She calls him a unicorn and is excited about scoring him as a potential match for her clients. Only he’s not interested in them, he wants her. They’re both upfront about their expectations of their relationship and view it more transactional than romantic. Which is the entire thing she’s been claiming to want! And, again, the problem isn’t that she changes her mind about how she wants her life to wind up, it’s WHY.

   Which brings us to the surprise assault plotline. I don’t hate that it exists, it’s something that’s in the back of every woman’s mind when they’re in the dating scene and happens way too often. But this is thrown in as a way for the main character to struggle without having to actually experience the pain. She’s heartbroken her math was wrong, sure, but she’s able to distance herself when needed and have it brought around as a way to further her “growth”, while the character it actually happens to gets treated as a prop.

   I won’t spoil who she picks in the end but both options felt terrible. Mostly because there was no chemistry between any of them! Watching the press leading up to the movie I was geeked, expecting their charm to captivate and make the decision difficult. However, none of that made it to the screen. It could be because they’re given nothing to work with. Hell, Pedro and Chris only share one or two scenes together which was such a waste of potential. Neither of them feels like an actual threat to each other and Dakota would have had just as much luck talking to a brick wall as she did with either man. Not to mention no on who needs to grow actually does. It was just such a let-down I left angry at being conned into watching it.

   But, because I hate being negative, I will say that the movie itself was beautiful to look at. Celine as a director I completely understand and appreciate. I just wish the same could be said about her writing.

   I would recommend this if: you’re a fan of Past Lives. Or you want to laugh at some of the cringiest plot devices I’ve seen in a minute. (the opening shot, the last shot, Pedro’s secret, it’s all so bizarre and infuriating)

5. Ballerina

   John Wick is an interesting franchise. The story, until now, has closely followed his journey as he seeks vengeance for a specific chain of events (if you know you know) and doles out the lore of this universe as if we should already understand what is happening. Everything occurs during non-stop action sequences that are meant to show off how hard Keanu has worked to transform into Wick. His current kill count is 439 and most of them happen on screen. Which leaves little time to actually focus on plot. And that’s been alright!

   But Ballerina, the first film to venture outside of Wick’s story, provides a new layer to the story. The film opens with a young Eve (Ana De Armas) witnessing her father’s murder and being offered the choice of joining a ballerina company that’s essentially a front for training future assassins. Think Black Widow but with more focus on dancing. She doesn’t hesitate to take the offer, and we watch her train and become desperate to prove herself. When she finally does - in a very fun club scene - she runs into the group of people responsible for her father’s death. She tries to ask her mentor’s permission to track them down, is denied, and sets off on her own, triggering the heart of this franchise - everyone wanting to kill the main character.

   Cue the fight scenes. De Armas is a natural as she runs through the complicated sequences that these films have become known for. My personal favorite involved a flame thrower. Keanu shows up here and there - how could he NOT? he’s a legend - and they bounce off of each other well, but his presence never overshadows her. Where it gets bogged down is in some of the storytelling. There’s a lot going on and not all of it lands as intended. Still, it left me satisfied and excited for where the franchise can go from here.

   I would recommend this if: you enjoy this franchise or action films in general. You will understand more if you’ve seen the other three, but I also think you can cobble enough together if this is your first time dipping your toes in.

4. M3gan 2.0

   This was a movie that was either going to be incredible or completely bomb. And from what I’ve seen it’s a mixed bag of reactions. I went into it with the lowest of expectations, curious about the complete pivot to action vs horror and wondering how many stale jokes they were about to repeat. But this is camp, baby. And everyone involved knows it.

   The storyline is as ridiculous as you expect it to be. The government has gotten involved with AI and decided to recreate M3gan’s programming. This time as Amelia, a robot assassin they can control. Or can they? Immediately she goes rogue and starts killing the wrong people. Who could have seen that coming?! On her hitlist is Gemma (Allison Williams) and Cady (Violet McGraw). Luckily, M3gan has been lurking in their smart house, waiting for them to need her. And boy do they! Before long she’s back in her upgraded body and ready to protect Cady - and by default Gemma and the rest of the team.

   The humor of the first movie is elevated here, and the best jokes return in refreshing ways (the Titanium music number from the original lives rent free in my head). The plot twists felt obvious, but I was still completely invested in their reveals. And for taking a chance with the genre change I felt it paid off.

   I would recommend this if: you enjoy people who take risks (a Girls reference I have no right making but am anyway) or need a good laugh.

   

3. The Life of Chuck

   Mike Flanagan has cracked the code of life. He’s slowly built his resume with horror hits: Oculus, The Haunting of Hill House and its follow up anthologies, the upcoming Carrie remake. He handles each of these with a love that bleeds through the screen and makes him, in my opinion, one of the best in the genre. Along the way he has slowly collected a group of actors that weave these stories together seamlessly. It doesn’t matter how many times they appear; each performance shows a different aspect of their talent and allows them to deliver moving monologues (and more often than not, devastating deaths). And, I mean, if my wife was Kate Siegel, I would also cast her in everything possible.

   One of the most fascinating developments in his career, though, has been his friendship with Stephen King. The fact King trusts him to consistently bring his stories to life speaks just as loudly as these actors continuing to work with him. And while both are known for horror, this is an example of how they also excel when given the chance to branch out. The Life of Chuck is hard to classify. Sci-Fi might be the closest match but it’s more than that. The heart of this story is human connection and how small moments can create a beautiful life.

   The story is told in three acts, starting at the end. It’s confusing and unsettling as you watch what is presumably the world ending. And through it all is the bizarre appearance of “Thank you Chuck” billboards and ads. No one knows who Chuck is and it adds a sinister aura to everything. Which makes it jarring when you jump from that gloom to a lighter sequence involving a seemingly random day in Chuck’s life where he befriends a ragtag group of people. And just when your heart is settling from that, you’re yanked back again to his childhood where everything finally ties together in one of those moving monologues Flanagan has become known for. (Provided by Kate Siegel, of course)

   I feel like it goes unsaid but everyone involved nailed their roles, big and small. The end result is dazzling, and I left the theater grinning while wiping away tears.

   I would recommend this if: this sounds dumb but if you love whimsical movies. It’s Stephen King so there’s a magical undertone, but I think it elevates the material. It’s also a fun Where’s Waldo of all of Flanagan’s friends. There were so many times I gasped in delight like I was seeing MY old pals.

2. 28 Years Later

   By the time opening night came around, I felt like I had seen the entire movie. The trailers were everywhere, the boots poem haunted me, and I was more than ready to call every twist and turn before it arrived. Don’t get me wrong, I was still excited, but I was also disappointed they had given so much away. Cut to my jaw dropping twenty minutes later when I realized that they had purposely crafted a misdirect.

   Knocked off my prediction game, I watched in gleeful shock as everything I thought I knew went out the window. It was incredible. The scene in the photo above had my heart pounding, transfixed by how stunning yet terrifying it was. And that’s low key how the rest of the movie went. The kills were gnarly, the zombies grotesque, but it was the performances from the main cast that really gripped me.

   
   She’s already (and rightfully) being praised but oh my GOD I cannot say enough about Jodie Comer and what she brings to Isla, our main character’s mother. I was in tears watching her. Alfie Williams plays her son, Spike, and I am shocked it’s his first major role. The relationship between them is the heart of the movie and so sweet it hurts. Ralph Fiennes also delivers a career performance as the mysterious Dr. Kelson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, while given less to do, makes great use of his time as Spike’s father, Jamie.

   Don’t even get me started on the tonal shift in the last ten minutes of the movie and how it sets up what is going to be one hell of a sequel. I’m so grateful they’ve already filmed it, and we only have to wait until January because I can’t even begin to imagine where it’s going from here. And as someone who is annoying good at predicting things, it’s so freaking exciting!

   I would recommend this if: once again obviously you can’t just jump into a franchise and know everything. And 28 Days Later is an elite zombie flick so you should be watching it anyway. But even if you haven’t, I think you can piece together enough of it to get by. And it’s so worth it. Just beware of all of the zombie nudity, might be awkward depending on who you’re with.

1. Dangerous Animals

   The best part of my AMC A-List Membership (sponsorship when?) is having the opportunity to watch movies I’d normally skip over in favor of the big hitters. Don’t get me wrong, everything about this is right up my alley. But if I had to pay full price going in, I would have waited for streaming. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to, and a new final girl made my list of favorites.

   The premise of this Australian indie horror/thriller is simple. Tucker (Jai Courtney) hosts swimming with Shark tours by day and feeds girls to sharks by night. Enter his next victim. Or so he thinks. Zephyr (Hassie Harrison) is a baddie surfer chick who lives out of her van and doesn’t let anyone get close to her. Including her one-night stand, Moses (Josh Heuston), who might also be her soul mate. Freaked out by how he sees her, she takes off to go surfing in the middle of the night. Where she’s kidnapped by our sociopath shark guy.

   I’ll be honest, I rolled my eyes almost immediately at the trope-ness of Zephyr’s character. Even her name screams I’m UnIqUe. But I shut up real quick because she’s so freaking cool. One of the things she does in an attempt to fight her way to freedom had me gagging and screaming at the same time. I need Harrison in another horror film immediately. Courtney was also incredible and completely dedicated to his role. I was terrified and confused on why I thought he was so hot at the same time.

   I would recommend this if: you want a fun summer flick. It’s only 90 minutes so it’s the perfect end to a beach day and would pair perfectly with any of the other major shark movies out there.

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Most Anticipated July Releases:

1. Jurassic World: Rebirth (July 2nd)

   Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey

   I need to see if DuncaaaaaaNNNNN survives that scene or not. Also, who doesn’t love a Blockbuster experience?

2. Eddington (July 18th)

   Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Pedro Pascal, Austin Butler, and Emma Stone

   I’ve seen mixed reviews and honestly have no idea what the plot is actually about.. but that’s just the way I like it! Plus, I think Austin Butler is a cult leader??? and I’m embarrassingly into it.

3. I Know What You Did Last Summer (July 18th)

   Starring: Madelyn Cline, Chase Sui Wonders, Freddie Prinze Jr., and Jennifer Love Hewitt

   Did we need a reboot/legacy sequel? Not Really. And will I forever mourn Camila Mendes dropping out for.. He-Man of all projects? You betcha. That’s not going to stop me from showing up opening night and having the time of my life. Also, we’re all in agreement Brandy is showing up as a surprise cameo, right? (Please help me manifest this!)

4. Oh, Hi! (July 25th)

   Starring: Molly Gordon, Logan Lerman, Geraldine Viswanathan, John Reynolds

   I am obsessed with this cast. The trailer looks quirky as hell. And after Materialists disappointing me, I’m banking on this being the break in the action/horror cycle I’m in.

5. Together (July 30th)

   Starring: Alison Brie, Dave Franco

   This is my celebrity couple, and I will follow them blindly wherever they go. But also, everything about this movie is screaming my name.